Stuck…
Surrounding myself with people who know how to listen is critical to my success.
We’ve heard stuff like that before, but why? What does it really provide?
I had been having a hard time “generating” myself – creating what it is I want in life. I have conversations with others that leave them empowered, and I know that I’m capable of it with myself, and yet there I was, feeling stuck. I even found myself thinking about some of my past blogs where I wrote about what I “have” to do and “should” do, and how that doesn’t work, thinking about reaching out to others even though I didn’t want to, and so on.
None of it was making a difference.
I finally had one of those conversations with a friend. It took a blind commitment to call against every desire to hide, because let’s face it, she is one of those powerful people, can find miracles everywhere in life, and has time and again created the life she wanted. Who she is for me is a light of everything being possible. Who I was for myself is, “she’s so powerful and creative, and I’m not in that space, I won’t be much fun to talk to.”
The first thing I got – after she finished laughing at me when I told her that – is that who I am for people is not what shows up for a moment in time, but who I am in the world. And for her, I’m someone who is a deep listener. It didn’t matter that I needed to speak more on this call, I’m still someone who can deeply listen. And sure enough, on the call, what made the biggest difference was being open to hearing what she said and doing the looking and taking in whatever was there for me. She doesn’t hear “oh geez Kim is going to complain today, fine I will listen to her” – instead, we had a conversation together, with lots of listening and laughing and looking without worrying about answers.
The next thing I saw was another reason reaching out to others – ESPECIALLY when I don’t feel like it – is even more important. And that is, when I’m feeling stuck, I am inside this “ball of stuckness” and can only see from the inside looking out. I can’t see much beyond my ball of stuckness – it’s small, cramped, confined, without a lot of air to breathe and not much light. I am trying to fight my way outside with the things that are around me, INSIDE the ball, and they are limited.
When I join another and we share together, both listening and speaking, I am instantly transported outside that ball. Now I’m looking at the array of possibilities from the world on the outside – and from there, possibility is endless, and there’s plenty of light and air and things to nourish me. There are conversations I can’t generate in my head on my own, and things to ponder and inquire about without a need to get past something, get outside something – I think and ponder from the infinite space around me. That is a space of pure creation.
The irony is that I got out of the ball of stuckness in an instant.
Thank goodness I have the listening of others to remind me of who I really am.
And that’s who I will continue to be for others.
Reach out and create an unstuck life… give me a call and let’s see what’s possible.