Forever Planning (A Good Enough Excuse, Part 2)

I’ve been thinking about my last blog, A Good Enough Excuse. I felt like there was something I wanted to say but I hadn’t quite connected the dots for myself (the joy and risk taking of sharing my stream-of-conscious thoughts at times!).

As I was thinking about it, there was one thought that felt like it pulled it all together. And of course, it’s not a new experience for me, however this time I got to see the bigger picture.  

In A Good Enough Excuse, I was having a day I where wasn’t feeling good and decided not to take several actions I had planned to take. While my first thought was that I was simply taking care of my wellbeing, something told me that there was more at play.

This morning, it hit me.

I decided to not take action.

I could have tried and then had the experience that my well-being was more important and switched to manage that. Somehow, that feels like it would have had more integrity in this situation.

So, what was at play that had my decisions drive the day?

I have mentioned before that I am a great planner. I like to figure things out. I’m a problem solver.

At the same time, I’m discovering all the areas I haven’t taken my wellbeing into the equation (see, even the word “equation”, like a calculation, fit into my self-care!). I’m discovering what it looks like to produce results without running myself into the ground.

With all these thoughts running around, I started weighing options, calculating, equating, balancing. I ran through what the situations might look like and what could happen if I went down different paths.

In short, I tried to figure out, to predict, how it would go.

What I didn’t do, is trust myself.

I didn’t trust that I could act when the situation wasn’t ideal. I didn’t trust that I would be OK with not finishing if I started. Before I took any action, there was a slew of judgments, rationales, and considerations at play.

Where else do I stop myself from doing things because I decide ahead of time the time is not right, the conditions not ideal, I may not be successful, I’d rather not?

I don’t need to calculate and process to know the answer – plenty of areas.

What I don’t know is what I’m capable of if I stop putting limits on myself before I begin.

I think I’ll give that a try.

Stopping in areas that are important to you? Let’s take a look together!