The Trap of Motivation
A while ago I wrote a blog called, “The Myth of Motivation” (which you can read here). It was the start of a topic I really wanted to dive into, and it’s time to come back to it.
Many of the ideas are still evolving, and for me, sharing those thoughts is often what has them generate most successfully. So, there may be some overlap, some new depth, and certainly some new paths as we continue to explore.
Words are powerful, and words have meaning. We can start with the definition of motivation – but in this case, that’s not where I want to start. And that’s because “motivation” has become such a common expression, we have all developed our own meanings of what “motivation” means. Meanings are created by those that are writing about it (me included), as well as those reading that material.
As I was preparing for a live event and this blog, I was inundated with articles popping up (without even looking!) on, “how to get motivated for…” or “X ways to get motivated”. It’s no wonder “motivation” is the thing we are all desperately seeking!
When I think of being motivated, I think of being excited, tons of energy, ready to dive into whatever it is that’s motivating me. Nothing can stop me! It’s all I want to do at that moment. I feel powerful and ready to take on the world!
And then I ask myself… how often do I really have that feeling? How long does it last? And when it goes away (which it inevitably does), what am I left with?
For me – and I’ll venture many of you – motivation is this ideal state where we feel unstoppable and ready to take on the world. At least in our minds. In reality, we probably don’t spend a lot of time in that state – but we DO spend a lot of time trying to get there, because we believe IF we get there, that’s when the magic will happen, and we’ll start doing all the things we say we want to do.
Motivation thus becomes the thing we are trying to attain. Said another way, motivation becomes the thing itself – and therein lies the trap.
Now I spend my time trying to “be motivated” – which we’ve already established is this unrealistic, fleeting state of excitement where we feel energized, and when it goes away, we want it back. And we won’t take action until it does.
Taking action when “motivated” this way is easy.
Who ever said having what you want in life is easy? And notice I’m not saying it’s hard! It’s not a black/white, good/bad, things-in-opposition life we live.
Somewhere along the line, “following your dream” and “living your passion” have become synonymous with this euphoric state of being where everything is fun and easy and fulfilling. We wake up every day with a clear purpose and vision and we do that because we love it, and it constantly gives back to us, and we have renewed energy ongoingly forever and ever.
In a word, bullsh*t.
The reality is, even if you could have this constant energy to follow your dream without wavering, as almost all successful people will tell you, the ideal opportunities have shown up when least expected. We don’t know what the path will look like, and we need to be open to explore what shows up, and not some formulaic map we have set out.
It’s not a linear process – we can’t expect that we would take an action, look at the direct result, see if it worked or not, and then if it did, great! Keep going! If it didn’t, scrap that idea or tweak it until it comes out with the result you want and expect.
We don’t like this fact. I finally take action (I’m finally motivated!) – I want something for it! And I’m impatient – in my head, it should happen a LOT faster than it does. If I forego the cake, I want to lose those 5 pounds the next week. If I take a walk around the block, I should be able to hike a mile next time without being out of breath.
It typically doesn’t work this way, and we give up before any ideas have time to gain traction. Now, the thing we had – motivation – actually DE-motivated us. Our fix became our downfall.
So much for motivation.
It’s not a feeling of excitement. It’s not linear. It’s not ever-building and flowing in one direction. It’s a “fix” that doesn’t actually fix anything. It’s not the “answer”. It’s a trap.
If I’m not looking for motivation, what do I do?
Having what we want in life is an ongoing process. If the word “process” isn’t to your liking, call it a journey. An adventure. (Whatever “motivates” you.) 😉 But what it is, is something that we create every day. Many days it won’t look like “the thing” you think it should.
If I’m committed to weight loss (you can use “getting fit” as an example if weight loss doesn’t resonate), and I eat my vegetables and I do portion control and I don’t snack that day, and I get on the scale and I gained a pound, did I fail? Maybe I should switch to intermittent fasting! Maybe I should go on a cleanse! Maybe I should try diet X or Y or Z? Let me look in the mirror – no, I still look fat.
Anyone who has spent any time on a weight loss program of any kind knows that the weight goes up and down during the weight loss journey, but consistently taking actions will have you trend the direction you want to go. And as for “looking thinner” in the mirror, even though you look in the mirror multiple times a day, you won’t see the change. Months later, you will come across a photo of yourself “before” and you will see a drastic difference to today.
There’s lot to dive into with this topic, and I will close this blog for now. Let me leave you with a place to start… take an action consistent with what you say you want, regardless of how you feel about it.
Only AFTER you take the action, check in to then see how you feel, and notice how you feel about the thing you say you want.
Our growth and development often looks like this! You don’t see measurable changes, and then suddenly you look back and see an explosion of opportunities show up and growth you couldn’t see in the moment. Schedule a call and let’s look at what you want to be creating each and every day.