A Year in Review
It was a New Year’s Eve party when I heard one of my friends say, “I am SO ready for this year to be over.” Another quickly joined in, “It can’t be over fast enough! It’s about time.” More friends started chiming in, and not one of them said, “This was a great year!”
I heard their complaints, and they all had a similar flavor: What happened “to” me. How “so-and-so” treated me. What’s happening “in the world”.
It’s such a natural place for us to look, the world outside of ourselves, the areas we feel like we can’t control, where we feel we don’t have any say.
The ugly truth is, it’s where we are being a victim.
Next, we tally up the columns - the “wins” and “losses” - to further prove which won out last year. It’s a rigged game for the poor “win” column because our brains are designed to fixate on the challenges, the problems, the “losses”.
No wonder everyone can’t wait for the new year!
There was an inevitable pattern happening around me… put all the bad stuff in a room marked, “last year”, slam the door, and throw away the key. Whew, clean slate for all the possibility in the world to emerge! NOW it can be good!
If only our brains worked that way! We know those doors are never solid enough to keep the past from oozing through and muddying the new year, starting about as fast as it takes to declare your new year’s resolution.
Listening to the conversation, I started considering my own list from the past year and here’s what I came up with:
I achieved some things I set out to do.
I didn’t start on some things I said I would accomplish.
I made new friends.
I lost touch with some friends.
I surpassed my expectations on some things I did.
I made someone laugh until they were snorting.
I made someone cry with tears of sadness.
I made someone cry with tears of connection.
I said something that made a difference in someone’s life.
I was sick.
I was healthy.
I did fun things.
I had to rewrite that list a few times to avoid the drama that I automatically wanted to create, “I screwed up that conversation”, or, “I was lazy”, or, “I totally failed at that.” Because in reality, what happened is simply what happened.
I add the drama as I look through my personal lens, my personal filters, how I see the world – not how it really is.
By writing it this way, I noticed it was much easier to compare the things that happened last year to what’s important to me – my values.
Values are the principles we live by. Some may be chosen, some inherited, but all are a product of the experiences we’ve had.
When things are going “well”, we are honoring our values. When things are difficult, our values are missing or being challenged in some way.
And… honoring my values is unrelated to the things that happened TO me. I can honor my values in the face of all of it.
Did I honor my values last year? Many of them, not all. Was that a failure, or did it make it a “bad year”? Nope, if anything, it’s a great foundation to take into my next year.
What I did this past year is grow. This person I’ve become has never before had the opportunity of a “new year”.
Next year IS going to be a great year.
Because I say so.
(For more on the power of creating your year, check out my blog, “What if Every Day Is New Year’s Day?”)
Ready to create your new year, and the growth it will take to make it happen? Give me a call!